The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: A Glimpse into a Controversial Reality Show
Infidelity, divorce, and even “soft-swinging” – these are not typically the topics associated with Christianity. However, they have become central themes in the hit US reality show, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. This series offers an inside look at the lives of female influencers in Utah, where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) is deeply rooted. The show follows these women as they navigate friendship conflicts, romantic issues, and their relationship with their faith.
The third season of the show has been particularly popular, becoming the most-watched unscripted premiere on Hulu in 2024. It continues to draw millions of viewers globally through platforms like Disney+. The cast, who previously gained attention on TikTok under the “MomTok” banner, have amassed a large following on social media.
But how do members of the LDS community in the UK perceive this portrayal? Some prefer to be referred to as members of the Latter-day Saints rather than Mormons. Ben, a podcast producer living near Burnley, describes his community as “normal people.” He acknowledges that while infidelity may occur, it’s less common due to the church’s teachings. His wife, Olivia, is a devoted viewer of the show, eagerly watching each new season.
Perception of the Show Among LDS Members in the UK
When the first season of the show aired last year, there was some hesitation within the LDS community about its content. Now, however, many members are more supportive of the women featured on the program. Ben notes that people in the UK would not be embarrassed by them, stating, “We’re not.”
In the UK, a week with a Latter-day Saint family is likely to be “boring and average,” according to Ben. The LDS Church, founded by Joseph Smith in 1830, believes the Book of Mormon to be the word of God, similar to the Bible. Unlike other branches of Christianity, members do not believe that Jesus is God, but rather that He is a separate being.
The church is also known for its missionary tradition, where thousands of young Mormons are sent around the world to spread their faith. The first missionaries arrived in the UK in 1837, and today, the Preston temple in Lancashire is Europe’s largest Mormon temple. Recent plans to expand this temple were approved by local councils.
Diverse Perspectives on the Show
Traci, a 57-year-old psychotherapist from Buckinghamshire, grew up in the LDS but left the faith at 17 after her mother’s death. She returned to the church later in life, and since then, she has been a practicing member. Traci says the show does not accurately represent the women she knows in the LDS community. “It’s not the way they live their life,” she explains.
She understands that people may be curious about the LDS, but she worries about how they are represented. “Sometimes I worry, how are we being represented? How do you see us?” she asks.
Pressure and Cultural Differences
One of the major themes of the show is the pressure the women feel in their family lives. Jessi, a woman in the show, discusses how avoiding issues in her marriage led to infidelity. She blames Utah’s Mormonism for creating “a lot of pressure to have the perfect relationship, the perfect family, and everything’s great.”
Ashlyn, a 25-year-old who lived in Utah and now resides in Burnley, agrees that the pressure to have a family is significant in Utah. She refers to it as the “Utah bubble.” However, she says this pressure is not as prevalent in the UK. Ashlyn describes the show’s cast as “probably more culturally members” of the LDS rather than devout believers.
Beliefs and Practices
Ashlyn explains that the LDS has a law of chastity, which emphasizes saving sexual relations for marriage. She says that “soft-swinging” would definitely be discouraged by the Church. She describes her lifestyle in Burnley as “very family-centered, very healthy,” focusing on attending church, serving others, and being a good example in the community.
She adds that if the show focused on wholesome family life, it might not be as entertaining. “I don’t think it would be as entertaining if The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was actually just them bringing cookies to their neighbors and just living very wholesome family lives,” she says.
Race and Representation
Another theme in the show centers on Layla, a black member of the LDS who stopped attending the church because she felt it no longer resonated with her as a person of color. She mentions an old scripture in the Book of Mormon that states black skin is a curse, something she was unaware of when she first converted. In 2013, the LDS disavowed those teachings, affirming that “everyone is an equal child of God regardless of race.”
Naomi, a Young Women’s President in London, hopes that children can see her as an example of what is possible. She says she has not had any negative experiences based on her race and notes that the teachings have been denounced.
Mixed Reactions to the Show
Members of the LDS in Britain have mixed opinions on whether The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives represents their way of life. Most agree that parts of the show are exaggerated. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the UK released a statement titled “When entertainment media distorts faith,” expressing concern over portrayals that contradict their teachings.
Naomi, a TV producer, understands that reality shows often heighten situations for effect. “I’m very aware of that,” she says.